Where by J.A. Konrath

Author:J.A. Konrath [Konrath, J.A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General Fiction
Published: 2017-10-30T00:00:00+00:00

From: Joe Konrath

To: Unknown Sender

US—

I’d be happy to split the book profits with you. Just give me your name and address and I’ll write you a check and mail it today.

Joe

From: Unknown Sender

To: JA Konrath

Subject: where i’ll do it–20

joe—

cute. sure, i’ll send you my paypal, and then wait for the fbi to show up at my door.

i’d insist you give all the proceeds to charity, but i don’t give a shit about any sort of charitable organizations. here’s the truth; i hope you make a huge amount of money off this. make all you can, and spend it on fun things, and maybe that will take your mind off the nightmares.

you’re not sleeping well, are you joe?

nicky used to have sleeping problems, too. he tried all sorts of folk remedies to get some shut eye. white noise. herbal tea. warm milk. hot baths.

but nothing worked. until i came along.

it’s well-known that repeated blows to the head can induce unconsciousness. ask any boxer. so whenever he had trouble i’d take daddy’s rubber mallet, and i would hit him, hard as i could.

there was bruising.

sometimes there would be bleeding.

but it did the trick.

maybe i can help you get to sleep too, joe…

now let’s get to the puzzle.

puzzle #20

once you figure out what’s odd about the state of this email, take a look at the 47th. after you do, take the original 1823 count of the elf’s rangifer tarandus, multiply by the appropriate atomic number, and there is your answer. oh, and make sure to be shifty when you type the answer. portable devices these days—kindles and tablets and smart phones—lack the same features as a good old computer keyboard.

i know, i know; this one seems pretty complicated. but it really isn’t, if you break it down into parts.

do you need some hints? how about a poem!

spoiler alert!

this email is missing something,

the underlined words are a clue,

get the answer to the 47th,

then cut that city in two,

the first word points to tarandus,

so penned by moore whom i trust

the second word points to a symbol,

on a table that is prone to rust.

what do you think, joe? do i have what it takes to be a writer? does my prose impress you?

now go forth and google the terms you don’t know (probably a lot, for you aren’t very well-read, are you?) wikipedia might help, too. and it’s okay to get a little ansi.

your periodic friend,

Umknown Sender

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